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9. What are common examples of wrong expectations of therapy? Therapists can be wonderful sources of support in coping with many of life's challenges. Some things, however, are beyond the scope of the therapist's job description. A therapist cannot change other people in your life. Clients who come to therapy expecting the therapist to fix someone else will probably end up disappointed. Take, for example, the parents who want the therapist to "cure" their child of the habit of oversleeping and being late for school. If these parents are not willing to look at their own behaviors that could be contributing to the problem, then they will be unhappy when the therapist attempts to focus on their role in the problem (i.e., letting the child watch television late at night). Therapists also cannot act as referees in arguments involving couples or family members. They don't blow whistles and declare who is right and who is wrong, unless there is an obvious abusive or life-threatening situation at stake. In such cases, therapists are required to file a report with child/adult protective services or the police. Therapists cannot order a family member to break up with a boyfriend because no one else in the family likes the fact that he has a criminal background. They cannot make a wife stay home and take care of the children if her husband wants her to be a stay-at-home mother. They cannot force one ex to stop backstabbing the other ex in public. They don't operate as detectives and try to find proof of suspected wrongdoing. When these types of situations arise, therapists can help the upset parties deal with their feelings and figure out the best way of handling the situation. They can mediate couple or family sessions when everyone involved is willing to listen to and respect each other's feelings. |